Facing Challenge

It has been 1 month since I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl we named Aiya Jodie. Naturally I wanted to write a post about this time because, like people say, having a baby is life changing. I feel as though that has already happened, is happening, and is going to continue to happen.

I had planned a homebirth in water, whale music, candles, the calmest environment i could imagine, but of course life has a way of throwing a curve ball, and what I experienced was the total opposite; alarms, lots of people, bright hospital lights, machines, anaesthetics, medication..I was rushed into theatre on 12th Feb for an emergency c-section. I have never been to hospital or had any physical vulnerabilities or health scares, and the shock of it all was overwhelming and scary.

Aiya Jodie was born at 12:09pm, 2.7kg, a little dot but healthy. She needed a little help to take her first breath but she was here and she was healthy.

I was in hospital for 5 days as Aiya needed monitoring a little due to her being early, and I needed a chance to recover. This time was very hard for me. Pregnancy had given me some sense of the physical restrictions that I hadn't experienced before, but after the surgery I was in such pain and discomfort, unable to take baby outside for fresh air, and unable to care for her how I wanted to. I had to let go of a lot of expectations and desires about how the first few moments and days should be for a newborn baby, with her lovely little feet being prodded and poked for blood a few times a day and her natural cycles and systems being influenced with this chemical and that, but it was not a time to take risks and to trust in others as much as myself - which is much harder for me to do.

I don't want to write too much here as I might lose your attention, but the message I want to get across is that life is inherently uncertain, and our minds are designed to avoid that uncertainty at all costs. This is why many people's lives are pre-planned, following what others have done: finding a career, a partner, a house, having children, retiring, and setting up a pension, insurance and a will. We attempt to control and plan situations, even conversations, before they occur, despite the many factors that could influence their outcome. I'm not against planning, in fact, I believe it's crucial in many situations to ensure we're honest about our desires. However, there also needs to be an element of letting go of the outcome. In my experience, life often offers something completely unimaginable and new—a much more interesting life than one filled with sameness.

I wouldn't change anything about my birth experience because I can see that it has provided me with new perspectives, new ideas, and a strengthened resilience. After all, what is life if not one of growth and change, and this does not come through comfort.

So here are my concluding points :-)

• Life is uncertain at all levels, the only certainty is that we will die, and this is often the one thing that we avoid talking about.

• Live life without too much expectation of how it will go.

• Be open to something totally new and different, in every moment.

• If you are going to expect, expect something sweet, but accept the bitter.

• Accept uncontrollable situations as much as you are able to, relaxing into the moment with any discomfort in your body.

• Listen closely to your gut feelings and learn to trust them more.

• Human growth is more than physical, it involves a change of mind; perspectives, ideas and creativity.

• See that challenge is essential for growth, and a life without growth is dull, stagnant & purposeless.

xx love jade xx